Yes I ended it with a message!
I wanted to end it face to face but when I arrived at the clubhouse in the early hours of Saturday morning he drove off with a few people in the car, one of whom was the young girl he introduced to me as his “future wife”. The bar ladies said he usually drops some of the people at home, but I know he saw my car. Yet he left anyway.
I thought “let him go” and just never say anything to him again ~ but then he will think that what he did was okay and I can’t allow that. Not again.
So, I sent a very long message which ended mine and The Biker’s three very fun filled months together.
“Hey “insert biker’s name here”. It’s a long one, but please read it.
There’s just two things I must say to you before I can actually just stop saying anything ever again. Number one, you do not have to reply to this message, so don’t bother to if you don’t want to. It’s more important for me to let you know this as opposed to me having to hear anything in return from you.
Number two. I’m not an emotional personal, I don’t like making things bigger than what they are. And I need very little to be made happy…like a kiss from the man I’m fucking is really not that much to ask for.
You blatantly ignoring me since last weekend and not responding to my messages actually hurt what little feelings I am capable of. And I don’t think that that’s what I deserve. You may not think I matter, but I do.
I’ve spent my time with you because I enjoy being around you, I feel better when I’m with you and it’s easy for me to be around you and I liked you and I would miss you if I never saw you in a while. But it’s obvious that you don’t want that. And so it’s obvious that I was wasting my time.
So, like I said in a previous message not too long ago, I’m really glad we met again after all these years. I really am. You have no idea how much. But, for many reasons, you won’t be seeing me around or hearing from me anymore.
I have no desire to chase a man who doesn’t think I matter. Who doesn’t think I deserve the respect of a proper goodbye.
I will however appreciate that whatever happened between us is kept between us. We know a lot of people, not many knew we spent some time together and since I’m not saying anything I’d appreciate it if you do the same.
Good bye “insert Biker’s name here”, stay safe and look after yourself.”
I wasn’t happy with his reply, he appeared to be sincerely and terribly sorry for hurting my feelings but it wasn’t what I wanted to hear. And so I said nothing. I felt good for standing up for myself though. For finally being able to tell someone that what they have done has hurt me.