Single & Waiting: The one that woke me

Relationships, sex, Uncategorized, Woman, women

wordpress_the one who woke me

The last man I missed was the one who broke my heart; not only my heart but my whole body, mind and soul too. I haven’t had an emotional connection to anyone in a little over two years. Never felt the desire or need or want for anyone in particular. Never bothered me much if days or weeks went by without any contact..until this one. I miss this one, when I’m not around him. He told me again, about the first time he saw me, at {The Bikers} birthday…refer to {The Biker Ep 01, 02 & 03}. He said we never met that night, but we saw each other, and he said I looked at him as if I knew him, and he looked at me knowing he had to know me. I don’t even remember that, but he does.

I met up with him at a function last night; walked in, very late…but alas, better late than ugly. I saw him, he saw me. Then {The Biker} saw me too…it would appear I was missed {too little too late}. I think I took too long with that one and then he just came over & took me. I smiled, I was happy to see him, he shaved though…no beard. I hugged him, kissed him and ordered a water. Something about being in his presence makes me not need or even want alcohol. ┬áBut something about being in his presence and not being able to be with him was unbearable, so I left, after 45 minutes.{too many questions, too many eyes, too much history at that place} I said I have another party to go. I lied. There was no way I could have stayed there and stayed away from him. My body wouldn’t allow it. My lips just wanted his. His kisses, I want them. His skin, I want to touch it. His hands, I want to hold it. This man scares me.

He said “Are you still going {to the party}? Don’t take too long. Are you coming back?” I said “Yes, and yes”. But I lied, again. He wouldn’t have let me go. And I couldn’t stay.

Hours later. It was late; he called, I answered, he showed up. It was 3am. I got my kisses. I got to touch him. And hold his hands, when they weren’t spanking me.

*I woke up first this morning, but he’s the one that {woke}…me



Girls & Boys: The universe is conspiring against me!


There’s a boy! And he’s cute, he has green eyes and a beard and he is tall…and I want to say his name, out loud.

wordpress_i want him bad

It’s been a while now that we have been placed in each other’s space. And I have seen him around more often than before. Spent some time in each other’s company and just when i decide to do my S&S the universe throws him in my path….3 times today already. And the third time he was on my floor…he doesn’t even work on this floor…he has no need to be here. Did he take the stairs? And if so, to go where? Because he never came to my side of the building, he went the other way…again, where he has no need to be. I’m over thinking. Maybe it’s a short cut. If it is, he can take it anytime.

When I saw him the first time, this morning, I literally sang “hello” like an idiot and then ran away. I saw him the next time as I was about to go buy me some cake and when I saw him and he saw me I ran the other way and then i never bought cake….and I’m running. I don’t run.

Just now, I came from somewhere and as I turned the corner there he was again…here….in my space, I own this space, doesn’t he know that?! Why baby cheeesis are you doing this to me. I gave up booze and boys and you are throwing one in my face.

His voice. I like it.

This decision. May be my best one yet because it will be driven by something more than a “I’m taking you home tonight”

Single & Dating: At least with taps you know where you stand


Unless you had an idiot plumber your taps will always will be labelled hot or cold, a blue sticky or a red sticky…why can’t it be that easy with guys too? Sometimes it’s difficult to tell where you stand. So you end up standing away, far away. But maybe that is where you belong because the result is actually not worth the effort.

taps hot and cold

And let’s be honest, being single takes a lot of effort, when it doesn’t…then you know you have a good thing. But most times, effort is what it takes.

Men go through mood swings as much as women do right? Their highs and lows are the same as ours, we have just become pre-conditioned to think they are better at handling, expressing or hiding their’s. Maybe it’s an off day, but if his off day and my off day are the same day, that too, is trouble.

I digress, point is: some men should come with blue and red sticker or not make me come at all.

See what I did there…*insert one eyebrow raised emoji here*

Anyway, that’s all

Life & Relationships: Conversations with my favourite stranger


heart on sleeve

Would life be easier if choosing happiness was as easy as choosing what to wear?

‘Today I’ll wear a smile with my broken heart and hopefully people will believe I’m happy’

“Today I’m wearing my heart on my sleeve and dressing it up with my head squarely on my shoulders – wear what you want”

Feel like you must

Life 101: My vicious cycle, but I love you


Every night after every day I swear to myself…tomorrow I will be different, tomorrow I will say what I feel, I will express my needs, feelings & wants, tomorrow I will learn to say no, I will no longer be taken advantage of, I will no longer allow the things of my past to hurt me, I will stop being available….tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow…yet still, each tomorrow has become no different than the day before.

When will I learn?


Maybe tomorrow.

Women, Sex & Love: I have questions dammit!


I’m just gonna leave this here and let it stew for a second…take a minute if you need to…in fact, take 2

Why is it that women (I cannot say “men & woman” because I am not a man thank goodness) all want to, in some way or the other link sex & love? Yes, if you are going to continue giving a sacred part of yourself to someone, the minds natural reaction is develop feelings, it is unfortunate because biologically we are all affected by these ridiculous hormones…

what is love

But let’s stop that ladies…let’s stop wanting to attach oursleves to a man, or woman…or both (yeahah) Let’s stop letting these hormones get the better of us…

Why do we always have to need to attach a label to everything anyway, does it matter? Does it make a differnece? And will it change things?

No, no and no

Let’s all instead start trying to enjoy sexual playtime for what it is, a sharing of senses between two consenting human beings.

And let’s not forget, that for every orgasm we experience, a unicorn takes his first sip of wine