Dating & Relationships: The First Fight {Not Fist Fight}

Dating, Love, Relationships, sex, Uncategorized, Woman, women

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Saying “I’m not like other women” is so cliche. Because the fact is, I am.

I’m such a typical woman it’s actually scary and I hate to admit {so I never will} but hey…I want what we all want out of a relationship; a partner, a lover, a confidant…*a big dick* I want time and affection and to be showered with gifts and adoration *a big dick* I want romance, dinner dates, picnics in the forest *a big dick*. I want support, stability and consistency *a big dick* I want it all.

So why then do I claim to “not be like other women”. Because the truth is, I’m not.

The “broken hearts club” is the most UNexclusive club in the world..not just the city, not just the country, not just the continent BUT the whole world.

But my journey that lead to my heart break & honorary member of said BHC {Broken Hearts Club} has now laid an entirely new foundation for any relationship I choose to enter. A new point where my “fuck this and fuck off” point has shifted to.

Is this fair though? No matter how many times I have said that I never want my ex to be a factor, and the fact is even though he physically won’t it is what he did to me that will and how that experienced changed me that will. And yes it’s not fair, but it is a reality. One that I have to deal with.

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One that I have had to deal with this weekend past where an eerily familiar feeling hit me, a feeling that used to be normal for me, a feeling I always said I never want to feel again…during an interaction with new BF I experienced for the first time since my ex such an utter lack of respect and disregard for me that, at first, I was shocked & stunned, like “what the fuck just happened” “does he know who he is speaking to” {I got visions of an aunty in the street with rollers in her hair doing wild and dramatic hand and head gestures} and through those visions my “fuck this and fuck off” got switched back on.

I ended it. That night. Done. Told him as such. He never took it well because he never expected it. {Oddly enough the root cause of the issue was HIS expectations of a frolicking-at-sunset-on-the-beach type romance, highly unrealistic, I mean, just read my bio…little did he know that I too had AND subsequently let go of my own expectations to give this an actual chance…see previous post Women & Relationships: When expectations become the executioner of your butterflies }

But what I wasn’t expecting was to feel that bad about it. He is a good guy and I have said this before…it was out of character {at least according to him although I have seen snippets of it before}…so I took a step back, agreed to hear him out one last time, I eventually accepted his apology. And now, things are seemingly okay.

This was not shock tactics, although I think it is what he needed.

I’m not saying I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread {although I really am} but I am somewhat super cool, I have good hair and a great sense of humour {these are frivolous things and in no means grounds to rate myself 10 out of 10, although I’m going to anyway}.

Yes, I am fucken great and he simply needs to work harder…and I might just adjust my fuck this and fuck off switch…{compromise, so grown up of me}

…..months later….I should have listened to my gut….she’s never failed me before